How I use CMC

Since before taking Comm 301, I used Computer Mediated Communications. I text, I have a Facebook account, I use e-mail to communicate, and I utilized Internet resources for information. However, before the class began I was not aware of the many different social networks that are out there and how people tend to use these sites. Some in which I have learned about I found very useful and may keep up with the site such as, Linked In. There are other sites that I believe are not very interesting, to complicated, or almost to socially interactive requiring too much time such as Second Life.

Learning about different CMC probably will not change my habits too much. I will try to use CMC to connect with others for career purposes. I learned many different ways to make connections and how I should not use CMC while I am looking for a career. There is not much change that I will make with my time spent using CMC. I never used it to much before, even having a Facebook account, I can say I am not one of those who could be considered addicted.

I feel that I do have better knowledge on my Facebook account and how to manage it. I have made changes to my privacy settings and other settings on my account when we had discussed potential negatives that could happen. I also have been more particular about who I accept as my friend. I used to always accept friend requests, after the articles I have read and through our research and class discussion, I no longer just click accept. For the first time while being in Comm 301, I ignored friend requests.

Although my habits have not changed much, the minor changes I have made I know will be beneficial. An through my CMC experience I have learned and I am continuing to learn the positives and negatives of CMC. CMC has my attention and I am noticing what a big part it plays in today's generation.

My Death Space

After viewing different social networking sites in Comm. 301 this past week, I went in search of some social networking sites that we had not touched on. In my search I found a social networking site whose global resource is Myspace.com. This social networking site, http://www.mydeathspace.com/, is a site of online memorials that allow family and friends to pay respects and vent their griefs of loved ones who had a Myspace account and have past away. Mydeathspace.com, actually tracks individuals profiles on Myspace.com that are deceased.

It is interesting to see social networking used in this way. It can be nice to have a place where people can get together and share their feelings and provide other with emotional support. Another positive for the site, is that they provide archive, containing news articles, online obituaries, and other publicly available information. When first reading the name of the site however, it sounded morbid and unattractive to visit. The name could potentially be a downfall because I can not see many people wanting to be a member of a social networking site with the work "death" in the link. Also, even though this may seem like a great way to remember a loved one and comment on the person they were, there have been problems with people posting rude, disrespectful, and insensitive comments such as, “I am happy she is dead."

Site manages are supposed to be tracking these kind of comments and deleting them. It may be hard for manager of the site to stay on top of the comments considering there are numerous members and many posts. If they can not find a way of stopping these comments they should think about taking down the site. I am not sure what they will do if they can not keep up with tracking comments but something needs to be done because it is disrespectful and hurtful to friends and family.

Overall the site has a lot of positive aspects for people who lose someone they love to create an online memorial. Also Mydeathspace.com seems to be a healthier and more productive way to use technologies to bring people together in a time of grief and allow them to provide one another with support.

Threads

With the recent discussion in class of addiction and Facebook, I have noticed what we might question as Facebook addiction. In class a group gave a discussion of things that make someone an addict such as habitual action.

For the past couple weeks or so every time I log into Facebook I have an inbox message. This message is a thread that is sent to whomever and it is conversation only between those certain people. My friends from home started the thread and have been writing messages back and forth every day. Now, when I say everyday I do not mean once a day. It seems that they write back and forth numerous times during the day, almost every hour. I have not yet posted on this thread because I do not check my Facebook as often nor do I have much time with school and work.

This makes me wonder how they are getting their school work accomplished. Are they maybe using this Facebook thread not only to keep in touch but as a procrastination technique? Also if they are logging into Facebook every hour just to see who has responded and to write back is that considered a habitual action? All these questions lead up to the complicated question we have discussed in class, are they addicted to Facebook?

For the simple fact that they log on every hour, I think can be considered a form of addiction. I can not say however, that I know of any of their grades being lower then usual because I have not talked to them much but I am guessing that their time spent on Facebook just being involved in this thread is consuming time that could be used for studying. I do think it is nice to keep in touch with old friends, and a thread is an easy way of bringing everyone into one conversation, but if it is necessary to check and respond every hour that really may be part of an addiction.

This thread has made it easy to see the way in which Facebook may become an addiction. Although my friends may just look at this messaging as fun conversation, their actions could be leading to possible addiction.

I am always finding articles in Cosmo Girl about social networks or forms of CMC that take me right back to subjects we discussed in electronic communications. We talk about the reason for why people have so many friends on Facebook and are these people really who they say they are? Why do people just accept friend requests from anyone even if they are not a friend or a friend of a friend? I just presented an article I read, to the class that suggested maybe people like to see their friend list grow to outrageous proportions and see how many friends they can get. Even if this is true what if there was someone in the list of 200 friends that shouldn't be or that you already accepted their request but no longer want them as a friend?

The article I came across in Cosmo Girl is called "De-Friending Done Right." First there is the total stranger. Either do not accept the friend request or if that's already happened and you want to de-friend him/her just go ahead and do so and hope they don't sent a message. In the even that they do just Cosmo Girl says you can send them a message back explaining its nothing personal but I think that it is unlikely for people to do that. Also there are ways to protect your information. If you have a friend who is not really a well known friend, change the privacy settings. This is a way to limit what that friend can view. I think this is also good because I know of situations where people have not been hired for jobs because of things they had on their page. If you limit what others can view then it should not become a problem if you happen to friend a potential employer.

Also the article just gives specific ways to handle situations through messaging. Just telling a person in a nice, rational way why they can not be their friend or why they keep that friendship at a certain level. I agree with not friending just anyone however I know that I tend to. In class we are trying to figure out many of reasons why people use the social networks in they way they do. I do think for some people just seeing how many friends they can have is something that keeps them going back for more. Having an extraordinary amount of people on a friend list may make people feel popular, however how many of those people are actually their true friends and someone they want to talk to. I just suggest, after all the things we have discussed in class about negative CMC, and people pretending to be someone they are not, if someone wants to friend just anyone then they should select their privacy settings carefully.

Death by Texting

In the November issue of Cosmo Girl there was an page called "Death by Texting." As I was reading the points on the page it reminded me of our first week in electronic communications when we had to give up all uses of CMC. Texting was by far the hardest. It has become the most convenient and efficient way to let someone know something. I know I text constantly even in times when I should not for example when I am driving. That is a bad thing to admit to however I am sure many are guilty of this.

The page in Cosmo Girl said that the American College of Emergency Physicians are seeing a rise in injuries and deaths from texting while walking, biking, skating, and driving. There was also a short story on the page of an accident that happened. In July 2007, a 17-year old girl driving in New York state crashed her SUV into truck, killing herself and four friends. Records showed that her cell phone sent a text message minutes before the accident. This shows the terrible consequences of trying to multitask while texting.

Does this show signs of addiction? How is this problem managed? Handing the phone over to a friend to text and have them read responses will reduce risk. You could let the person or people you have been texting know that you are going to be driving and you will text them when you have arrived. Also if it is necessary for you to answer a text, pull over so you are not endangering yourself or others.

Some states have what is called DWT. Driving while texting is illegal in some states. I wonder if people agree with this or not. Even though I am a culprit of DWT, I do think this is a good law and should be illegal in all states. It's scary to think of the consequences that can come from doing something that most people feel is so natural in their everyday life.

Scammed

I came across an article in Cosmo Girl that grabbed my attention right away. With all the talk of CMC and how popular it has become its not hard to find articles informing people and sharing stories. Usually, like most news the articles I find, they are to warn people and make them aware of the dangers of CMC and how to be more cautious.

The article I recently read in Cosmo Girl, "I got scammed on Crigslist," was a good article about research and trust. It was about a girl who received and internship in London and posted a seeking house ad on Craigslist. She was thrilled when a girl named Jolleen responded to her ad and was accepting of her budget. She kept in touch with Jolleen after seeing photos of her and the apartment and sent a down payment to her. She thought they had become friends and she trusted her. She trusted her enough that when Jolleen said she had someone else interested in living with her who could pay upfront that she wired her the rest of the money to hold her spot. Then a friend of the girl saw Jolleen's photos and showed her a Craigslist ad for an apartment in Spain that had Jolleens picture and same apartment.

She had been scammed. She thought she could trust Jolleen. Here she searched Jolleen on Google and was able to find out that she was a fraud. She should have done this prior to sending the money. This just goes to show that you never know how much you can trust someone through an online relationship. It is good that they place these articles in magazines because as CMC is growing I believe it is important for people to know that things like being scammed really do happen. It was funny to me too that all the girl had to do was search Jolleen on Google and she was able to find out different things about her. That also shows that privacy can be a very big deal with CMC. Try googling someone, anyone and you could probably find out something about them.

Everything worked out for the girl in the end, however they haven't found Jolleen and her money has not been recovered. I don't think it would ever be same to send someone money without meeting them in person. Also in their case because it was a housing arrangment there should have been a contract agreement.

Like I said earlier, it is easy to find the bad in CMC because it is the bad that people like to read about. I do not believe that all CMC is bad. It is just a matter of being smart and cautious.

Fatal Desire

Recently I watched a Lifetime original movie, Fatal Desire. A movie based on true story. This movie is about a divorced ex-cop who meets a young, married woman in an online chat room, and they begin a love affair. As his new girlfriend convinces him that she is trapped in a dangerous and physically abusive marriage, She ends up going to see him a couple of times to make him trust her and then lies bout being pregnant with his child. He goes to great lengths to protect her from her violent husband. After he commits murder, he is shocked to learn that the woman of his dreams is not at all who she seems to be.



The woman lies about her life, the baby and her identity, she used him to kill her husband so he would be out of her way to do what she pleases. When he finds this out, after she stops responding to his e-mails, and he finds her, he commits suicide. At the end of the movie there was an epilogue that said the lady in question is now serving a life sentence for conspiracy to commit murder in a state prison.



As we discussed in class online relationships can have problems. For the ex-cop, he reached every one of the 10 stages of an online relationship even trying to make it work. However, he was falling for someone who wasn't real. This is a great example of why meeting people online can be and issue. There is no way to decide if they are telling the truth.

This also brings up another topic we briefly discussed in class. Although she physically did cheat on her husband in the movie, their relationship started off innocently in a chat room. This is how many relationships start. So is that considered cheating or having an affair? I think that people who engage in online chats believe what they are doing isn't necessarily wrong because they're not having any physical contact with the other person. They also may use the excuse that these online affairs harmlessly fulfill a need which is not being met by their off-line relationships. I have heard of emotional affairs. I think that becoming close and personal with someone online would be considered an emotional affair.

I was sad to see that this movie is based on a true story because it proves that things like this can happen and affairs do occur. This shows how innocent communication on line could lead to harmful and inappropriate affairs.

Plastered Pictures

I came across an article in glamour magazine, Totally Wasted and Proud of It. The article seemed very interesting. As I skimmed through the article I noticed the pictures that apparently these young women were putting on Facebook. In my communications class we have been discussing CMC and Facebook is a huge topic because it has become a means of communication for many people. We have also discussed in class how people use the internet for right and wrong reasons. Also we tried to decide how much information is too much for others to view, on these social network sites.

My attention was immediately drawn to the pictures of young women lying on the floor, passed out, and in the bathroom. What were these women thinking when they posted these pictures on Facebook? The women were contacted to explain their reasons behind the posting of the pictures. One girl commented that she wanted her friend to take a picture so she could remember how stupid she was for drinking too much. Another girl was just taken advantage of and her picture was posted on Facebook. These women think these pictures are obviously not a big deal because they have a problem with drinking. Many people may view photos like I am describing on Facebook. Sometimes they can be disturbing and inappropriate. Yet viewers are able to see these pictures and the feel better about themselves because they feel more normal.

This makes me believe that there has to be some restriction to what can and is posted on networks like Facebook. I think that those pictures share too much information. They are nothing to boast about and yet these women laugh at them and viewers comment things like, “Haha, cute picture.” This may make people believe that doing things like drinking until you pass out are ok, that is funny and people will laugh. Women like this are using the Internet in the wrong way trying to gain instant Internet notoriety. Is it really ok to do that? Also is it ok to view these pictures just to see others being outrageous because it makes the viewer feel more normal?

Do I Accept?

People use Facebook everyday. They log in just to see who wrote on their wall or left them a message. Facebook also has a great search feature so you can find anyone who has a facebook account even if you are not friends with them. The first thing im sure most users do when they log on is answer any outstanding requests they may have such as a friend request.

So imagain one day you log in and you have a friend request and it is someone you have never met but they have searched Facebook, found you, and for some reason they friend you. When you go to answer the friend request many questions go through your mind. Should you or should you not accept them? Thats a hard decision when you don't know the person. However, what if this person has your same last name? Maybe somehow you could be related? What do you do?

I ask this question because recently my roommate came to me and told me about her cousin who was friended on Facebook by a boy with their same last name. She accepted the request to find out that this boy search Facebook for people with his last name. Both the boy and my roommated cousin became curious as to whether they were related. They began talking through Facebook and found out that they are cousins. He lives in Rome where some of her family is from. They have continued to talk to find out more information on the family relationship. They also plan to use Facebook to stay in touch with one another.

This story goes to show how computer mediated communications can be a great thing. You could contact a part of your family you might not have known about or you never thought you would talk to and you can get in touch faster and easier with people from across the world. Also in my electronic communications class we have been discussing how people rely and use CMC so frequently these days, that when my roommate told me this story about how her cousin met their cousin on Facebook, she was reading the story from a message on Facebook that her cousin left her.

Although this story of friending people on Facebook and accepting friend request does have a happy ending, there are instances where friending someone and letting them view your information my be harmful. I would like to hope that people use communication through CMC the right way and not for the wrong reasons. So if you go searching for a friend maybe make sure to leave them a message of why you are asking them to be your friend or about who you are.

Online Student Teacher Relationships?

I came across a story that CNN posted about online student teacher relationships. http://www.cnn.com/2008/TECH/08/12/studentsteachers.online/index.html The story was about teachers creating these accounts on Myspace and Facebook and “friending” their students…and about a Missouri legislator sponsoring a bill banning elementary school teachers from doing so. It was very interesting and caught my attention immediately because for my Electronic Communications course my professor created a Facebook account and "friended" all of the students in the class. Before reading this article I didn't not think that a teacher friending a student could be wrong but it does have its positives and negatives.

The story brought up some topics we had discussed in my communications class about how the Internet can be abused and people may use it in the wrong way. A teacher friending a student can be good for reasons like opening up a different line of communication and making the student feel more comfortable. However like the story says a teacher is not meant to be a friend. I don't know if I consider communication with a teacher over the Internet to be a positive way of communicating because teachers should be encouraging students to speak up and ask for help. So are the Missouri school districts taking things overboard by banning these relationships? I can see where protecting children is necessary and online relationships can become inappropriate. My opinion is that the vast majority of teachers and students would use the tool for beneficial and productive purposes. However because communication becomes easier it can be easy to think of your teacher as a friend and become more personal with them. Also liked we talked about in my communications class with CMC messages can be misinterpreted. Which could also create a problem.

I think every school district should have its own policies and regulations with about whether students and teachers should interact through these social networking sites. In Missouri's case because of the student teacher sexual relationships that have happened I believe they do need to do something about online communication. I also agree with the story in CNN that there are predators out there who are using online communication with their students for the wrong reason and they will find a way to do so even if there are laws passed. Are online student teacher relationships a good new way of communicating or are they pose an issue?

Online relationships

Throughout the summer I experienced some factors of an online relationship. My boyfriend, of only two months at the time, got signed for the Milwaukee Brewers and had to leave for Arizona. He left in the first week of June and wasn't going to be returning home until the first week of September. We planned to stay together and talk everyday.

It is easy with someone you already know what they look like and whats its like to be with them to not have anxious feelings or doubt. However, I would assume that starting a relationship online not knowing the full truth about the other person or what they look like would be very difficult.

I knew I liked my boyfriend but it was had to talk on the phone everyday because of long distance and our cell phone plans didn't allow us free calling until after nine at night. The three hour time difference made it difficult to because when he was finally allowed to talk on the phone for free I was ready for bed. So we had to find other ways to communicate. We used text, e mails, and AOL Instant Messenger. These mean of communication made it easy for us to stay in touch. However for three months we experienced what others might with an online relationship.

I feel like with online relationships you can say what you want and its much easier to do then if you were in person. I never really knew if my boyfriend really felt the way he did because even though he would tell me, he wasn't here to show me. Actions speak louder than words! Also I went through what others might experience with online relationships, the anticipation and anxiety of meeting that person. I had to ask myself some questions about my relationship. It seemed that we got closer while he was away realizing how much we truly liked each other. We would talk online we would talk about how amazing it would be when we would see each other again and what our whole semester at school would be like. This all seemed amazing through text but I was so nervous and scared for the reality of it. I would think what if it wasn't that way when he comes home? What if we don't feel the same way about each other once we are in person? What if he can express how he feels about me in words face to face? These are feelings that happen when people who meet online decide to meet. It has to be difficult for a relationship to make it through that stage. My expectation of what my relationship was going to be, at this point were very high.

i found that there were some troubles with not talking in person or on the phone. Not being able to hear his voice. There were miss communications every once in a while. Because of this we did get into a couple arguments. Its hard to trust and believe everything when you cant hear the tone of their voice as they speak or the expression on their face. It creates a complex, well at least for me it did, of always wondering, worrying, thinking, and never really knowing.

Then there was the physical contact just felling and knowing hes there. Everyone needs that comfort feeling, that hug or kiss. My boyfriend always texts me "MUAH" it cute but it will never be a real kiss. I want to reference the article my class read about senses with online relationships compared to in person relationships. This article touched every subject of how it really feels or should I say doesn't feel with online relationshipshttp://http//www-usr.rider.edu/~suler/psycyber/showdown.html#touching.





In my experience, although we are not a true online relationship, having to spend three months with just my computer and phone was not a real relationship. It is much easier to have an in person relationship. Were you can see, feel, hear, and know everything you need to about the other person. In the end when my boyfriend returned home, as nervous as I was, he did not let me down. We are still together but I am so much more confident in his feelings for me because I can see him, hear his voice, and watch his actions.

The episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer that we watched in class on Wednesday was very entertaining but not completely superficial. If the writes were trying to convey a message about the role of computers in our lives this was a creative way to do so. The whole concept of a monster, demon, or whatever you want to call him, living and acting through a computer gave me an the impression of how computers can really consume ones life.

Although the computer is informational and has many good uses, this episode allowed me to see the negatives of the role a computer plays. No longer do we need to use books why spend our time searching for the information one would need in a book when you can search the web and timely. As they said in the episode, "Information is not bound. Reality is virtual you're not alive without it." Its a little scary to think that people are so addicted and rely so heavily on a computer that they wouldn't be "alive" without it. The episode also showed how even ten years ago when the episodes were made, that computers were prevalent and technology was growing.

The episode showed web cams picking up pictures of Buffy and tracking all her information off the computer. That is very dangerous how anyone can find your information and how information about someone you need to know something about may not even be correct. People are hiding behind their computers and can be anyone they want to be as Malcolm did. The episode was a great way to see how on line relationships can happen and the good and bad with them. You never know who can find you and who you are really getting involved with.

I feel if the writers were trying to convey a message about the Internet and computers, not only do they take over peoples lives but people are completely manipulated by technology. Also in the episode it gave me the idea that computer as handy as they can be they do not contain all knowledge. Even having files on a computer which may seem so efficient and better then all the paper it was not enough to tell the nurse in the episode that a boy was allergic to penicillin. The episode made me think about how computers can contain viruses and if your computer gets one you could potentially lose everything you have stored on your computer. So as great as a computer may seem they are not perfect. What gave me this impression was when someone in the show said about "demon in the Internet."

The last thing I thought about while watching this episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer was how it is mind boggling how the Internet and computers are growing on us and technology even ten years ago in the episode was great, I can't even imagine ten years into the future how people will be using it. It is basically like Malcolm lived and created himself, communicated and had an identity through the Internet and computer. That is kind of how people are today. We use the computer and Internet for everything we do, to communicate, gain knowledge, find people, do work, upload and download files, and much more. The computer saves and stores everything we do. We create an identity of ourselves through our computers. And if you don't like your identity then I guess, like in the episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, you could just be somebody else.